For the record, this friend who “watched” Sound of Music with me is a different friend than my Pride and Prejudice friend. To clarify things, I’ve dubbed her “Rom-Com Friend” since our friendship did in fact grow on our shared love of all things romantic comedy.
Me: What movie do I watch tonight? I can’t decide. Casablanca or His Girl Friday? Or something more recent like Crazy Stupid Love or Tangled? Or Sound of Music or Mary Poppins? Or maybe You’ve Got Mail or When Harry Met Sally. Or I could go stupid funny and watch The Rocker.
Rom-Com Friend: Hmmm. That’s a tough one. I need to take a break from Crazy Stupid Love because I’ve seen it too much lately. But a cute or sweeping romance could be good. Oh, Sound of Music or Mary Poppins! I’ve been thinking of both lately … I just watched Casino Royale and was about to watch Batman Begins, but maybe I want a girly movie. Of course, as always, I want to watch Pride and Prejudice or Young Victoria.
Me: Ohhh those are so good! It’s been a really long time since I’ve seen Sound of Music. Okay. X-Men First Class, King’s Speech or Sound of Music? Or Mamma Mia?
RCF: If I was choosing I’d pick Sound of Music or Mamma Mia. Damn it, now I can’t decide! I may do Sound of Music and open that bottle of wine.
Me: Do it! I’m already on glass two. Okay. I think I might Sound of Music it up. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Nazis defeated by nuns.
RCF: Me too. I feel a comment marathon coming on.
Me: I’ve got this thing on VHS.
RCF: I no longer own a VCR.
Me: We have one of those combo devices DVD/VHS. Sadly, it’s too old school for Blu-ray, PVR or Apple TV. I just can’t keep up.
RCF: Oh dear. Oh well, Sound of Music hasn’t changed since the ’60s, so you’re good.
Me: Good good. She’s running. She’s twirling. She’s swinging her arms. I don’t quite understand her dress. It’s like a henley t-shirt with an apron sewn onto it.
RCF: I’m starting now. Her clothes are so puzzling. Also, I really, really want to go to Austria.
Me: Yes. Me too.
RCF: Is the apron top pinned to her dress? Let’s go!
Me: Yes please!
RCF: My grandmother went to Austria in the ‘70s and had pics of herself in front of all the landmarks from Sound of Music.
Me: That’s awesome! Should I wait for you to catch up? Will this be too awkward being out by ten minutes?
RCF: It might be. She’s just running down the hill.
Me: ‘Kay. Tell me when you get to the nuns singing the “Maria” song.
RCF: Okay. I skipped the credits so I’ll be there soon. Also, seeing as we live 10 minutes from each other, we should hang out in person more often.
Me: It’s so true. We’re such dweebs.
RCF: Not that I don’t enjoy this! But yes, we are.
Me: I know what you mean. We just both love our respective couches so much.
RCF: I have a Sheldon groove in mine.
Me: Me too! A Nick Miller/Sheldon groove. Are the nuns singing yet?
RCF: Just started!
RCF: It’s actually better this way, you don’t have to listen to me sing.
Me: Me too! I just sang out “Mariaaaaaa” and was thankful no one heard. What on earth is a whirling dervish?
RCF: Google it. They’re dancers. From Turkey I believe.
Me: Googled and tweeted.
RCF: Did you watch a video? I always find this song hard to sing, but I still love it “I have confidence in me!”
Me: It’s quite relevant for my current state of uncertainty. I should sing this while going into job interviews … or just applying online. For years I thought her name was Frauline. And whirling dervishes seem sad.
RCF: You totally should! It applies to much of life. Yes, I feel like it’s a hard weird life. Also, I want the captain’s house.
Me: I forgot that he’s really quite attractive.
RCF: I know right? Oh, Mr. Plummer.
Me: That is a father in denial. UGH. The bell. Worst, dad.
RCF: He’s just lost and sad.
Me: True. “I could never answer for a whistle. Whistles are for dogs and cats …”
RCF: I’d probably punch someone that whistled in my ear like that, though.
Me: “Frauline, were you this much trouble at the abbey?”
“Oh, much more, sir!”
RCF: I love that. I also love her passive-aggressive dinner speech that makes them all cry. Rolfe. Ugh.
Me: Blech. Rolfe. Although – one of my favourite songs.
RCF: Me too. Although I prefer the later gazebo scene.
Me: Yes. When Liesl smiles as Maria closes the bathroom door, it looks a little like she’s high.
RCF: Man, I love this song.
Me: Me too! We’re both singing along aren’t we?
RCF: Of course!
Me: Is that the captain’s after-dinner jacket? Is he that kind of a gentleman that he has multiple jackets throughout the day?
RCF: Of course, he’s crazy classy like that.
Me: Crazy classy Captain.
RCF: I want to have an afternoon like this.
Me: What kind of ball are those boys playing with? It’s like an American football/basketball. They’re from Europe. Shouldn’t they be playing football?
RCF: Well maybe they didn’t have that in the ‘30s?
Me: Maybe. Or maybe Austrians are special.
Me: Exactly. I love Julie Andrews. GEORG!
RCF: Me too. Is it wrong that I want them to hurry up to the romantical part? Yes! Georg! Handsome Georg. And Baroness Beotch.
Me: No, not wrong at all.
RCF: Her clothes look more ‘60s than ‘30s.
Me: She’s got a scratchy Emma Stone voice.
RCF: Yeah, but more breathy.
Me: She is a beotch. But she’s also intuitive.
RCF: Oh very. I think the amount of makeup he has caked on detracts from his attractiveness.
Me: The nervous chuckle of a man afraid of commitment. I love a man in drag. I also love Max.
RCF: So do I. Max is fantastic.
Me: Rolfe you dummy.
RCF: Rolfe. The worst.
Me: Why is it that I always remember the baroness as brunette until I see her and realize she’s blonde?
RCF: Hmm I don’t know …
Me: When she falls out of the boat – best part.
RCF: That awkward moment when you’re soaking wet in front of an attractive man.
Me: SOAKING wet. Also, I wonder how many outtakes there are of everyone slipping on that cement.
RCF: Oh man, so many. Look at how tiny her waist is.
Me: “Frauline you will stay here please. I want to look at you a little longer … I mean talk to you … I mean look at your breasts … I mean judge you. What? Ahem. Nothing …”
Me: I love his face when he says “… Drapes?”
“Oh yes you are, Captain! … shit … Frauline.”
RCF: “Oh yes you are, Captain!” HA! [For the record, we wrote that at the exact same time.]
Me: We’re awesome.
RCF: Yeah we are. So he was mid-30s in this. Perfect.
Me: “I … I can sing! I CAN SING!”
RCF: He can sing!
Me: Really? That’s it? He looks older. Maybe because he was in his 30s in the ‘60s.
RCF: Yeah and he has grey hairs. But most of the guys I know in their 30s have grey hairs.
Me: “Children. Pick up your jaws from off the floor, please.”
Me: Yeah the grey hairs around the temples – rather attractive, I think.
RCF: Agreed. I love how all of a sudden he’s no longer a robot.
Me: “Frauline … I behaved badly … and you’re still wet. I’m not looking …”
RCF: He’s looking.
Me: It’s like he knows he can sing and he’s suddenly no longer a machine. “You have already. More than you know. Singing reset my cyborg brain.” Ooohhh I love this song!
RCF: I’m yodeling. I sing this a lot.
Me: Same! That is a lot of beer for just two men.
RCF: I think we should get marionettes like that.
Me: Yes, yes we should. I wish I could dance as well as those marionettes. The blue dress on Maria!
RCF: Yes! Gorgeous!
Me: Is this sex ed? “So this is where baby goats come from – yodeling.”
RCF: Apparently. 1 + 1 = 3. Like the baroness knows how to be a nun.
Me: How would the baroness help Maria become a nun? Haha! [Again, same comment at the same time.]
RCF: We are awesome. There’s a room at the Musee d’Orsay that looks like that ballroom and I love it so much. For that reason and the lovely sculptures in it.
Me: LET’S GO!
RCF: I know. I think about it all the time.
Me: ALL THE FEELS.
RCF: Yes! “Your face is all red.” “Thanks kid.”
Me: Kids are the worst sometimes. That awkward moment when you fall in love with your boss while his girlfriend with a giant Phoebe Buffay-esque flower and weird cowlick hairstyle is watching.
RCF: Such a weird dress flower. And I still think her clothing is not ‘30s accurate. Still know all the words …
Me: I sing along with the “doo-dooo-doo-doo” bits, too.
RCF: Me too!
Me: Like when you sing along to the guitar solo in “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
RCF: I do that with all songs … I get made fun of a lot.
Me: You’re not alone.
RCF: Good! It’s part of the song! Ugh, I hate this guy.
Me: Ugh. Such a Nazi. He looks like a rat.
RCF: A Nazi rat. I love how Georg sticks to his principles. Passive-aggressive baroness.
Me: Right?? Is this the best way to deal with the situation, baroness?
RCF: Nope. But it gets rid of Maria!
Me: As if that would stop a man in love.
RCF: Only the non-lazy ones. I do love that gold dress, just without the poof.
Me: Yeah, me too. So I once babysat a three year old whose favourite movie was the Sound of Music and we were watching it but it was getting late, so I shut off the movie when she left and yelled “The end! Bed time!”
Then I put him to bed, went back to the living room and kept watching and then after a while I thought I could feel another body in the room and looked over at him wide-eyed and staring at me in silence.
It was like a horror movie. I freaked out.
RCF: Was he like, “J’accuse!”? Also, what three-year-old boy loves that movie?
Me: I don’t know! I do not know. And I wish he said, “J’accuse.” It wouldn’t been far less creepy than him just standing in the doorway staring at me.
RCF: No kidding … What a sad ball game.
Me: What a sad rendition of “The Hills Are Alive.” It’s like an emo band is singing it.
RCF: Their bangs should be hanging in their eyes.
Me: With a single black tear on each of their cheeks.
RCF: “You’re going to have a new motha.” *Awkward kisses.*
Me: And Kurt’s lingering kiss. Why would that lady become a nun? She’s so pretty with such a cute dress!
RCF: Maybe her family made her.
Me: “Climb every mountain. Ford every stream.” I wonder if she’s giving Maria tips on how to escape from Austria. I wonder if she’s prophetic.
RCF: Whoaaa. That is deep.
Me: That’s what five years of university has taught me – how to see the deeper levels of movies I’ve seen a dozen times.
RCF: Time/money well spent.
Me: I love this exchange with his kids.
RCF: I’m a little behind. I’m mouthing the song because I can’t sing that high.
Me: Me too. I tried and I think I strained my throat.
RCF: “It’s too early for blueberries.” He’s making me laugh.
Me: I love him in that scene. Oh yeah! Maria gets that other lady’s dress!
RCF: Aw I love when they hear her voice! I never noticed that! Love the colour.
Me: Good thing they were the same size.
RCF: Aw I feel so sad for her when she finds out he’s engaged.
Me: There’s that blue dress again.
RCF: I do love the baroness’ red dress. And yes, the blue.
Me: Yeah. I kind of hate how much I love the baroness’ wardrobe.
RCF: Me too. It’s pretty fabulous. “It’s no use, you and I.”
Me: At least he mans up and says it! He’s a MAN.
RCF: Yeah he is!
Me: Are her brows painted?
RCF: Oh yeah, they are for sure. His eyes when she says there’s a young lady who will never be a nun.
Me: Fantastic. He’s good at the micro-expressions. Aww Georg. Playing it cool.
RCF: “Is that all?”
Me: *hopeful voice* “Only the children.” *knowing voice*
RCF: Aww look at him and all his feels. “There isn’t going to be any baroness.” Woohoo!
Me: How can she be so nonchalant?! “There isn’t?” I would be screaming. Oh. It just took her a little while … BAM! The most wonderful line! “You can’t marry someone if … you’re in love with someone else.” Damn. I never appreciated this scene before. I always sided with the “Sixteen Going on Seventeen” scene.
RCF: No! Look at how lovingly he looks at her!
Me: I knowww!
RCF: Although, the face rubbing is a little too intimate for us to see I think …
Me: I know … I had to look away. Conveniently got a text at the same time. But I do have chills from this scene.
RCF: I wish I’d done something good.
Me: Damn. I should try to join a nunnery. Maybe I’ll find a husband.
RCF: Uhh … no.
Me: I kinda wish we could’ve seen the scene when they ask the children.
RCF: I know that would’ve been so cute.
Me: I like how they cage out the nuns.
RCF: Stay back!!
Me: There are a LOT of people there.
RCF: Now are they singing that or is it in the movie background?
Me: I don’t know! I was wondering that, too. Wedding bliss to Swastika.
RCF: Awkward. “The flag with the black spider on it makes people nervous.” Very intuitive young one.
Me: “Mother what do you do when you think you love someone, or you stop loving someone, or they stop loving you, or they become a Nazi and try to imprison your family?”
RCF: I’m not sure there’s any advice for that. That awkward moment when the Nazis are waiting outside your house in the dark.
Me: Yeah … slightly awkward. Georg’s good at playing dumb, though. *shrug*
RCF: I love them all singing together.
Me: And might I say nice boots, Captain. I looked up the actress who plays the baroness and (a) she is a brunette and (b) the first photo is her doing her brows.
Me: Max: Austria’s number one shit disturber.
Me: BUN LADY! Zeller’s face – BURN!
RCF: The second group looks like elderly munchkins. Suck it, Zeller.
Me: Munchkins are the scariest things ever!
RCF: Scarier than the Wicked Witch? Or the flying monkeys?
Me: Yeah. Definitely scarier.
RCF: I’m gonna have to disagree. Also, them hiding is scary and intense.
Me: This is too intense. Too stressful. Maria’s holding Gretl so close …
RCF: Yeah. I remember even as a kid being freaked out.
Me: Get outta here, Rolfe!
RCF: F-ing Rolfe!
Me: Ugh. Rolfe. Shut.up. These nuns are so awesome.
RCF: Oh man, such a great movie.
Me: So excellent.
RCF: I really don’t think they make movies that good anymore.
Me: I don’t really think they do either. Thanks for watching Sound of Music “with” me!