I recently rewatched Disney’s Sleeping Beauty with my six-year-old niece and had to message my friend because seeing these Disney princess movies through the eyes of an impressionable child is disconcerting at best.
Here’s that commentary.
(Also “RCF” is my rom-com friend who has shown up in many a commentary.)
Me: We’re gonna watch Sleeping Beauty. Or Sleeping Blooty as she used to say.
Me: The fairies should have given better gifts.
“The gift of a sense of humour”
“The gift of badassery”
“And the gift of kindness”
RCF: Women weren’t allowed to be badass or funny in the ‘50s or whenever that was made. But agreed.
Me: Not sure they’re really allowed now either.
Me: How old is Aurora? 16?
RCF: Yeah I think so. Well she turns 16.
Me: “Why do they still treat me like a child?” BECAUSE YOU ARE!
RCF: A wee babe.
Me: STRANGER DANGER!
RCF: It’s ok, they’ve met before. Because dreams are real and makes it all ok.
Me: It’s just a line! RUN AURORA!
RCF: What are you talking about? All men’s hearts and intentions are true, especially in the woods.
Me: Yeah. Sure. The chances of him being a unicorn are too unlikely. Because unicorns wouldn’t be so bold and insensible to fall in love with a voice and a pretty face.
RCF: Preach it, Knightley!
RCF: He only gets a slight break from me because he bravely fought a dragon.
Me: Yeah but was that for her or was that the equivalent of skydiving and purchasing a Hummer?
RCF: Well yes. But it makes him a notch above Cinderella’s prince, that one dimensional dummy.
Me: I’ve become a lot more jaded.
RCF: Me too.
Me: And pretty sure Cinderella’s was gay. Plus Philip had an amusing horse buddy.
RCF: Agreed to both. I’m so glad they changed things with Kit.
Me: Oh man me too! He was so awkward and uncool. “KIT! KIT! MY NAME IS KIT!”
RCF: So awkwardly charming. And kind! And courageous!
RCF: Awwww. Perfect
Me: Seriously! Also I really like what they did with Maleficent. I want my niece to watch it but it’s still too dark for her I think.
RCF: Oh yes. It’s similar to Frozen though, that same kind of message. But she’ll have to watch it in a few years.
Me: Oh for sure. I’ll make sure of that. Also one day I’ll show her Anastasia.
Me: Ever After will be another for when she’s older.
RCF: Oh absolutely. That was like a pioneer in on screen female badassery.
Me: Yep! “I will cut you navel to nose.”
Me: Her favourite princess is Belle though so that’s good.
RCF: They’re both readers.
Me: Why are princes kept in dungeons and princesses in towers?
RCF: Interesting. I’m not sure.
Me: Belle broke that standard I guess.
RCF: Yeah she was just kept in a castle.
Me: But first in the dungeon. Before he Stockholm-syndromed her.
RCF: Right right.
RCF: Fo reals.
Me: Every day.