For a couple of years now, my friend and I have had a tradition of sorts. Any time we watch the 2005 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice (which is usually any time I watch Pride and Prejudice because like Michael Jackson, I just can’t stop ’til I get enough), live-commentating occurs. It’s kind of like live-tweeting, but instead of using the social media with the bird, we use the social media with the F and it becomes a wall post at least 100 comments long.
It’s way too much fun. I highly recommend it.
This first time wasn’t really like the all the viewings since because it started with our favourite line in the movie – the line when they’re standing in the rain in the gazebo and she tells him off and it’s both romantic and heartbreaking at the same time. It’s my favourite scene in the movie and my favourite scene in the book. Sometimes instead of rereading Austen’s best novel, I’ll just flip to that bit because it’s the first time the two of them have really told each other how they feel and broken through all the formality and social custom they’ve been restricted by. Sigh … anyways.
This was also the first conversation my friend and I had when we really scrutinized the scene in the end between Donald Sutherland as Mr. Bennet and Keira Knightley as Lizzy Bennet. You know, the scene when she kisses him on the forehead because he’s given her his blessing to marry Darcy. And it’s something that comes up every time we watch or even mention this film.
Friend: “From the first moment I met you your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realise you were the last man on earth I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.”
Me: “Forgive me, madam, for taking up so much of your time.” *intense gaze* *almost kiss* *tension*
Friend: Since we’re on about weird moments …
Friend: *Darcy walking across field*
Friend: *Darcy still walking across field*
Friend: *Darcy continues to walk across field and you notice his shirt is slightly open like the romance novel covers*
Friend: *Darcy still walking*
Friend: *Suddenly Darcy is right beside Lizzy*
Me: *And then there’s the all too convenient side step they do so the rising sun is between them. Clever clogs.*
Friend: Oh, and Donald Sutherland has the biggest head in all of mankind.
Me: He’s like a St. Bernard. And Keira is like a Chihuahua.
Friend: Best comment ever.
Friend: If you did the math, I’m pretty sure you could fit 2.125 Keira heads in a Donald head.
Me: Let’s do the math.
Friend: Okay you research Keira’s head size, I’ll find Donald’s.
Friend: Remember we need volume not circumference.
Friend: Does IMDB have head volume?
Me: No, but the Sutherlands are Canadian, aren’t they? Don’t you have their number?
Friend: Of course, all Canadians know all Canadians.
Friend: Let me just call him up. “Hey Don … how big is your head. Can you go measure the dimensions for me? I think I can look up the formula for volume of a sphere.”
Me: It’s more of an oblong spheroid.
Friend: Crap, I didn’t learn that formula.
Me: This would require some hefty work and air travel since I’m pretty sure Mr. Sutherland and Miss Knightley won’t know how to measure their own heads.
As I said, this was but the first of these live-commentating instances. And it’s happened about half a dozen times since. And those instances will be posted. For your reading pleasure. They get better with age. Like a fine wine. Or some cheese. Not all cheese, though. Know your cheeses, people.