Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014)

Me: I’m rewatching Winter Soldier.

Me: The jokes just feel so forced.

RCF: Yeah… Uncomfortable.

RCF: Apparently in the new one Iron Man and Ant Man and Falcon have lots of jokes. Which will be good.

Me: Oh that’s good. I’ve heard good things.

RCF: Fingers crossed!

Me: If it’s kinda blah, we’ll have What’s Your Number waiting for us. Gay Falcon and Nekked Cap. What could be better?

Me: And Confused Watson.

Me: And Even More Confused Star-Lord.

Me: Actually Martin Freeman is in Civil War too so we’re basically just going to watch the Civil War cast in a comedy where they should be.

RCF: So much greatness.

Me: Seriously every time the shield goes on his back, he’s a turtle.

Me: Like I’m watching a Franklin book come to life.

Franklin Catches Terrorists

Franklin Learns a Lesson in Distrust

Franklin Finds His Long-lost BFF

Franklin Talks to a German Computer

Franklin Doesn’t Wear a Helmet on His Motorbike

Franklin Gets Nostalgic

Franklin Visits a Museum

Franklin Takes a Nostalgic Walk Down Memory Lane

Franklin Wishes He Could Have Slept with Peggy

Me: Nick Fury just said “Secure office” and his office was secure. Do you think he’s ever sat in there and said out loud, “Man I have such a secure office,” and then his office secures and he’s like, “Gawddammit!”

RCF: Probably.

Me: Sammy J has a machine gun in his centre console.

Me: Bucky! He’s pretty cool… Even if he does overdo the Adele cat eye tutorial.

Me: I want Cap to yell out “I’M COMIN’ FOR YOU BUCKY!” like Mindy.

RCF: He should!

“What do you see?”

“HIS BEAUTIFUL HAIR!”

“What else?”

“HIS GIANT METAL ARM!”

RCF: You need to make that comic

Me: The Mindy rom-com crossover featuring the bromance of Bucky and Steve?

Me: And then Tony’s all… “But I thought we had something special…”

Me:

Me: Do you think he ever gets sick of having a hot bod? Like every time he goes white t-shirt shopping he thinks, “Ugh why are my pecs so huge! It looks like I’m trying to show them off, but I just want to wear a white tee!”

RCF: I think testosterone overrides any of that.

Me: Fair enoof.

Me: The Apple guy. “Specimen.”

RCF: Right!

Me: Funniest character in this movie.

RCF: Absolutely.

Me: Oh my gosh. Mr Computer. This is the worst ever.

RCF: So baaaad!

Me: Like… shockingly ridiculously bad. HOW DID EVERYONE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY?

RCF: I DON’T KNOW! Mind boggling.

Me: And I’m sorry Toby Jones, your Swiss German accent is also the wooorst.

RCF: So bad.

Me: Bald bespectacled man said Stephen Strange!

RCF: Benedict!

Me: He’s talking about the algorithm that chooses who to kill “Bruce Banner, Stephen Strange…”

Me: They’re currently taking a page out of Speed‘s playbook by sliding down a highway on a door – doesn’t Sandy do that?

Me: They’re shooting each other up on an overpass and I’m waiting for Deadpool to drop in.

RCF: Deadpool should show up in all movies.

Me: Not to save anyone. Just to sass things up and then leave.

RCF: Exactly.

Me: Cap just told Falcon to “gear up” and I want him to say “Wing up!”

Me: Okay second funniest character in this movie – Abed.

RCF: Oh yeah!!

Me: “Spread your wings and flyyyyyy!”

Me: I wonder if Cap is the wing beneath Falcon’s wings.

Me: How often do you think they sing Seal’s “Fly Like an Eagle” to Falcon?

RCF: I hope every day.

Me: Do you think someone told Cap his outfit was corny and he said “I’m looking for corny in my life” like Kate Winslet?

RCF: Awww!

Me: I do appreciate how Bucky grabs one of Falcon’s wings like he’s a lil butterfly.

RCF: Well yeah.

RCF: Don’t go against the Winter Soldier if you’re a little bird.

Me: Exactly! Winter Soldier means bidness.

Me: Cap is yelling “Drop it! Drop it!” at Bucky and that’s what I yell at the dog when he’s got something he shouldn’t.

RCF: Bad Bucky!

Me: “Bucky nooooo!”

RCF: “Bucky yiss!”

Me: Okay it is a pretty cool movie and worth a rewatch now that we can talk out the hilarity of certain scenes.

RCF: Well I loved the action scenes, but it was hard to forgive some of that ridiculousness.

Me: It’s easier to forgive once you’ve already forgiven it once.