10 more ways in which I feel old and feeble

You know when you start to notice things and you can’t stop noticing things? These are more of the things I’ve noticed about my ever-aging self.

  1. I fall asleep at 9 p.m. To be fair, when this does happen, I realize I need to check my iron and B12 levels, but I definitely do have a no-plans-after-9-p.m. rule because I just can’t do it anymore.
  2. I worry about the level of my caffeine consumption. One cup of caffeine in the morning, decaf coffee and tea for the rest of the day. If it gets around 4 p.m. and I’m offered a cup of caffeinated coffee, I decline because I don’t want to be kept up at night. These are the boring things elderly people talk about. And now I’m doing it, too.
  3. I drink strategically to avoid headaches and hangovers. It’s just not worth it. Not that it ever has been worth it, but somehow youthful stupidity told me it was. And it’s not even drinking to excess. It’s being careful not to have a glass of red wine too close to bedtime because I’ll wake up with a sugar high and a wine headache. After one glass!
  4. I think about desk ergonomics. Constantly. It’s a constant thought when I’m sitting at my desk, wondering if my heart is above my hip and if my neck is where it should be. Am I stretching forward? Crouching? Sitting too far back? What is an ergonomic, anyway?
  5. I have a standing appointment with a chiropractor. Every month I go in for a 5 minute appointment and get put back together like a broken toy.
  6. I watch – and thoroughly enjoy – travel documentaries. I’m this close to finding Rick Steves, I swear.
  7. I have purchased one of those daily pill holders. Thanks to my recent foray into vitamin and supplement overload (as mentioned in part one of this list), I have found it necessary to purchase an aid to remember my pills. I did buy a cooler version than the classic snap-top Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. one, but it’s still a pill box purchase akin to that of my mother.
  8. I garden. This may not be an old and feeble thing, but considering the green thumb of both my mother and my grandmother, the connotation, to me, is there. Not only do I garden outside, but I’ve purchased real, living plants for my living area. And to add to the connotation, I even have my grandmother’s old brass plant pots to hold them. If you can’t beat them, you copy them 60 years too early.
  9. I forget people and events. Just straight-up forget them. If you’ve come up to me and I’ve spoken to you in an overly friendly, non-specific tone, it’s because I’ve completely forgotten you. Or, if you’re a friend who reminds me of a thing that happened 5, 10 years ago, and I use a tone of voice about an octave higher than my normal tone of voice, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Life is getting too long to remember all of it.
  10. I refuse to give up a good night’s sleepAs a young traveller (you know, like, five years ago), I was totally fine with staying up all night to catch a 4 a.m. flight or sleeping on someone’s floor to save from spending money on a hotel. That is no longer an option. I will pay as much as is required for a proper hotel room with a proper bed. You can keep your hostels and your couch-surfing. I will take comfort and security and a good night’s sleep, thankyouverymuch.
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