If you tell me you’ve never done this, you’re a liar.
Or you’re a classier person than me.
The problem is I really like sleep and I am cursed with an incredibly comfortable bed. So when I shower in the morning, sometimes I don’t always make it to my ancient hot tools.
Nope, I have to stop myself.
The problem is I don’t know how to use my ancient hot tools.
I never mastered the skill of blow-drying my hair. A good blow-out is not something that’s within my long list of notable capabilities (e.g., reaching the top shelf, opening jars without the help of a man, starting and never finishing DIY projects, sometimes not biting my nails, etc.).
So I often try to shower at night because then it’s like the lottery when I sleep on wet hair – what will my hair look like? Will there be an inexplicable wave to it because it was scrunched a certain way onto my pillow? How many bobby pins will be required to manage my mostly dry hair in the morning? Will my part be channeling trends from the 1990s à la Kelly Kapowski so I can put it up in a bun like the 1890s à la Agnes Towler? That’s a lottery I’m okay with playing.
The other option is to shower in the morning and either go to work with obviously wet hair like I’m some kind of weirdo or put it up in a bun that keeps my thick hair wet all day long so that when I take the bun out at the end of the day, it’s still as though I just showered.
The solution, I’ve found, is to utilize the air vents in my car that point at my face. I usually reserve these for really hot days when I need air-conditioning blasting at my gross, sweaty complexion. But on some mornings, I turn up the heat, open the vents and dry my hair as I drive to work – just enough to make it look as though I have dry hair, even if it’s not fully dry (the hair at the back of my head will never be completely dry within 24 hours of washing it).
And voilà! Blow-out achieved.
No one need know how.
(Except you, dear reader. But please keep it a secret. It’s a tad embarrassing.)