Sure, we’d all love to see the seven wonders of the world, or skydive into a free fall of wonderment, or marry Benedict Cumberbatch, but are those traditional bucket list items really attainable? And are they really what people want?
I get that skydiving is an important activity for anyone wanting to make their life feel special. But it’s also a pretty easy way to pee on a stranger who is strapped to you while plummeting to almost-certain death, which is not something I really feel like doing.
What if our bucket lists reflected more extraordinary ordinary moments in our lives? What if they were filled with those tiny things that pass you by because you’re too busy working seven days a week to pay for that trip to a pyramid?
What if they looked like this:
- Don’t be a dick. When given the choice between a douchey reaction and a kind reaction, choose the kind reaction as many times as you can – and even a few times after that.
- Shake off a humiliating moment à la Taylor Swift. Slip on an ice-covered sidewalk? Open your umbrella inside out? If you turn it into a joke and laugh about it, you may even entertain passersby.
- Meet a real-life SNL character and savour the moment. Notice I did not say SNL cast member (as awesome as it would be to run into Tina Fey, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Taran Killam, Will Ferrell or really anyone from that glorious comedic institution), I said an SNL character. Is someone you know a real-life Debbie Downer? Don’t let her actually get you down; savour the hilarity of her unintentional, spot-on impression. Work with someone who way-too-closely resembles Target Lady? Don’t get annoyed, treasure those moments. Bonus points if she fist-pumps or says “approved!”
- Catch a pen as it’s about to roll off a table in a meeting. If you can reach over with your spidey senses and catch that pen before it hits the ground, you will 100% impress everyone around that table. And they might even give you a raise for awesomeness. Or at least nods of sincere approval.
- Spend an entire Saturday in your pajamas, but not in a sad way. Sure, it’s kind of easy to spend the entire day in your pajamas. You could eat dry cereal out of the box and spend every waking hour on the couch trying not to think about how sad you are. Or you can turn it into an adventure! You can make that slow cooker butter chicken recipe you’ve been saving on Pinterest. You can make homemade Christmas cards, DIY wrapping paper and Etsy-worthy ornament garlands. You can vacuum, scrub the tub and dust your shelves with a sweet Songza playlist going in the background. And you can actually find yourself nearly euphoric by the time you lay your head on your pillow.
I know I don’t usually involve audience participation, because it’s one of the worst things in the world, but *cue cheesy music and flashing screens* what would you want to add to your realistic bucket list?
*silence because even the crickets have left*
… Never mind.
- audience participation
- Benedict Cumberbatch
- bucket list
- bucket lists
- butter chicken
- Christmas cards
- Christmas decorating
- Debbie Downer
- Kate McKinnon
- Kristen Wiig
- Shake It Off
- spidey senses
- Taran Killam
- Target Lady
- Taylor Swift
- Tina Fey
- Will Ferrell
- wonders of the world