A couple years ago, the first James Bond I saw was the last one.
Isn’t that always the way? … No? It’s not always the way? Just me, then? Okay, carrying on.
I never grew up watching James Bond. Personally, I don’t think it’s wise to expose children to the alcoholic womanizer that is Bond, James Bond. But apparently my friend grew up differently. So when Skyfall came out, she decided I should come with her to the theatre, which I of course did, and then she decided I needed to watch Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace.
And then sometimes we’d hang out and watch an old Bond and I’d make fun of it the entire time because those old bonds are cheesetastic. It was hilarious. And we laughed. A lot.
Other than Daniel Craig’s three Bonds, we’ve seen Living Daylights with Timothy Dalton or, as my friend calls him, “smiley Bond.” The best part of that movie was when they used a cello case as a sled to quickly get down a mountain.
My friend also exposed me to the bell bottoms of the great Roger Moore in Octopussy, Moonraker and The Spy Who Loved Me. (Also, The Spy Who Loved Me was quickly followed by a viewing of The Spy Who Shagged Me, for obvious reasons.)
The truth of the matter is that she knew I would love a certain recurring character in two of these films. I wasn’t going to admit it, but she knew Jaws would have a special place in my heart. I mean, who wouldn’t love a lumbering henchman with metal teeth? My favourite scene has got to be in The Spy Who Loved Me when Bond defeats Jaws by turning on the conveniently placed magnet in the shark room. And then, of course, when he finds love in Moonraker.
Also Goldeneye because I played the video game with my brother way back when and I felt it was necessary for me to get the Pierce Brosnan experience.
And then, of course, there were the Sean Connery films. Goldfinger was watched because a woman died after being painted in gold, which is tragic, and also inaccurate – or so says QI. And Thunderball was watched because who wouldn’t want to see Connery in his short shorts having an underwater harpoon battle?
That brings us to Dr. No, the first Bond film. The one where the world first saw a man say “Bond, James Bond” on screen. And that man was Sean Connery.
Moral of the commentary story? I suddenly realized what all the Connery-as-Bond fuss was about.
Read it here.