Not all movies make me cry. I’m not necessarily a major weeper, but if a movie or a TV show strikes just the right chord, then my tears are a melody of all my feels.
That being said, there are some movies that make me cry more than most – and make me cry every time I watch them. This is one of those movies. (Beware: there are obviously spoilers.)
Now, I’m not sure if this movie counts because I’ve only seen it once, but it turned me into a mess. It was like the Doctor regenerating combined with Downton emotion topped with terminal cancer and suicide – technically assisted suicide.
Basically it tore me apart.
I don’t even know if I can do it justice explaining it, but I’ll try.
Benedict Cumberbatch has terminal cancer. He’s in a wheelchair, wears a fedora and is nursed by one of his best friends who took on the role of his caregiver after he lost his own job. He has two other friends and under the guise of a birthday wish, he wants to go with these three friends (one of whom has fallen into estranged territory ever since he got sick) on a hike they did when they were younger and healthier. A several-day hike to a bay full of memories and beauty.
His one friend built him an all-terrain wheelchair of sorts and together they all journey on through the highs and lows of friendship, overcoming the lies and insecurities and confessions until you learn Cumberbatch’s real reason for wanting to go on this hike: he plans on dying in that bay.
He wants to swim out and let himself drown.
They all tell him they’re not going to let him do it. It’s not going to happen. And then they hear him have an attack that night when his meds are lost. One guy stays with him while the other two run back along the darkened trail trying to find the med pack.
And, as a result, they see his point.
They acquiesce to his desire for control in this last decision.
And the next morning they stand on the beach as he swims out.
They join him, then two turn back, but the one who was estranged, the one who fell in love with his sister and has been having an affair with her as she finds a way out of her current marriage, the one who wears a handsome white sweater and was the main purpose for my friends and I watching this film, swims out with him.
And helps him die.
Not sure I can ever watch it again.
I mean, one day I will.
But it was so … beautiful. So perfect and hilarious in parts and clearly emotional in others and it was … it was fantastic.
It just … it leaves you altered.
It’s one of those films where you look back and can measure your life before and after watching it.